My Grandpa Matthew Hesch and
Grandma Josephine Hesch
I�ve thought about my life, then Dad�s and my life together and I decided that I wanted to enlighten you a bit on your heritage. As of this date in 1997 I have about 38 years of the annual Christmas letter up-date which I have given each of you. These give a "bird�s eye view" of our family�s activities during these years.
As I get older and I have more time to reflect I realize that I don�t know a lot about my grandparents. What were they like? I know where they were born and some of the places where they lived.
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My Grandpa Matthew Hesch and Grandma Josephine Hesch |
You children have those facts in the book that Dad and I gave you some years ago. However, I don�t have insights into their hopes for their futures. I imagine that Grandma and Grandpa Hesch and Grandpa Block were hoping for a better way of life, or they wouldn�t have come to the United States from Europe. They all were poor when they came. Grandma Hesch was a maid for a while on the east- coast. About all that I know about that is the "man of the house" wore white gloves as he would come downstairs in the morning. If he was able to collect any dust on the gloves Grandma�s food portions were decreased for that day. I do not know how long she endured that. I wish that I knew where Grandma and Grandpa met. They lived and farmed in Waumandee, Wisconsin after they were married. They moved to a farm near Pierz, Minnesota when my mother was about 15. Four years later they retired and moved into Pierz. They weren�t rich but they did have more money than most people around there despite having had 10 children. Two of the children had large medical bills before they died during their late twenties and early thirties.
My mother and her sisters did not have a hard life. They seemed to have been encouraged to broaden their horizons. In those days going to Glacier for the summer, becoming a teacher, taking vocational type courses, piano lessons for years etc. like they did weren�t what the average girl did. They did exquisite handwork, knitting, crocheting and quilting and they used excellent quality fabrics and yarns. My mother bought a piano and lots and lots of music and piano books.
My Grandma Block died in her early fifties, before my dad and mother were married. My mother taught in their school district. My Aunt Josephine and Aunt Marie were her students and she lived with the Block�s during the school week. My mother really liked my Grandma Block. My mother and dad didn�t date during this time.
My Grandpa Bernard Block |
My Grandma Josephine Block |
My father said that his father was a "gentleman farmer." He supervised but didn�t overwork himself physically. They had nine children and were quite successful financially so apparently he was a good supervisor.
My father told of spending several summers in the Aberdeen, South Dakota area working on big farms. He told us that he would temporarily forget his German while he was there. In turn his English improved considerably. He spent several years taking the town doctor on house calls both in town and in the country when in Pierz.
Two or three years before they were married, my dad began to farm near Lastrup at the place I�ve called home these many years. He never talked about his "batching" in glowing terms even though his cousin, George Block, helped him during part of this time. Somewhere along the line he must have talked my mother into joining him in this venture. She was a "town" girl and had to learn about being a farmer�s wife from scratch.
My Father William Block |
My Mother Lillian Block |
They had a nice wedding on November 29, l922 and they lived at the farm until Archie and Gladys were there married about 35 years later. On February 1, l924 Dr. Healy delivered me at home at the farm. I do not have a lot of early childhood memories and I regret that I just flowed along with the tide and didn�t etch more happenings into my brain.
Clara at about 20 months of age |
Now for some memories: I do remember a wood box fire in a porch that was credited to my doing at probably age four or five . The smoke alerted an adult and nothing was damaged and no one was burned. Apparently that episode and a probable "talk" prevented me from becoming a pyromaniac.
I have vague memories of doting Auntie�s as my mother and her four youngest sisters were close in ages and spirit. Three died before I was old enough to really remember them but I�ve always thought of them fondly as my mother missed them immensely after they died at young ages. Until her death at age 81 she talked about them often and lovingly. I was named after Aunt Clara and Aunt Ann. Agnes followed by being Aunt Agnes and Aunt Rose�s namesakes
My mother often told us about Grandma Hesch saying that if you fell asleep saying the rosary or other prayers it was like praying all night. If Grandma was right then I�ve prayed all night quite often.
I vaguely remember Grandma Hesch�s death. I was about five and had another of my frequent, terrible earaches. This, of course, was long before antibiotics when warm olive oil and warmth were the possible remedies. The day of the funeral was very cold and on the way to the funeral in the not very warm Buick I was told to put my head against Great Aunt Mary�s fur coat. I don�t remember if it helped and I don�t remember the funeral but I do remember how soft and cozy her coat was and how she hugged and held me close all the way to Pierz. She was from Iowa and we didn�t see her often. She was a sweet, beautiful person and we all loved it when she came to visit.
I don�t remember this next one, of course. When I was about a year old Grandpa had gone to buy hay one day. It was a days trip as he went via horse and what ever he used to haul the hay. It was winter and cold and they had a wood stove fire in the hen house. My mother had put a mending box on the stairway going upstairs. She was working away, heard the box fall and she went to the stairway to reposition the box. She closed the door and some time later it fell again. She didn�t check it out again. She quickly bundled us up, took a little food, pushed me to the hen house in the baby buggy and we stayed there till my dad got back. I had a comfortable nap, I�m sure. We were warm in the hen house but I imagine the fire went out in the wood stove in the house as we fled early morning and Grandpa got back later in the day. She said she was sure that there wasn�t anyone upsetting the box but she couldn�t make herself investigate and she couldn�t make herself stay in the house. After several more years at the farm and several more children she became very brave.
Soon after my Grandma Hesch�s death Grandpa lived with us for awhile. Radio was quite new then and Grandpa who was a bit senile couldn�t understand where those people were who were talking and singing. It was very cold one day and he told my mother to "let those people come in" so they wouldn�t get cold. I didn�t understand where they were either as I was about six then. Grandpa died soon after at another daughter�s home in St. Paul, Minnesota. I have vivid memories of their brick home in Pierz. I remember loving to go there and I remember them in their home but their funerals are a blank to me even though I was at both funerals. I still go past their home whenever I get to Pierz.
I mentioned that Grandma Block died before my parents were married. Grandpa Block never remarried and lived alone for about 31 years. He, also, had a brick home in North Pierz and I remember that home, too. Grandpa wasn�t a great cook but I do remember him having treats for us kids while he and the grownups had coffee and snacks. In later years he lived with us on the farm while I was away at the U and teaching in Long Prairie, Minnesota. He died while I was in the hospital after Gregg was born so I didn�t get to his funeral. He was almost 92 when he died. I almost forgot to mention that Grandpa could speak English but he felt that his grandchildren should speak German, too. He usually spoke German to us kids. I would converse with him in German but the other kids wouldn�t or possibly couldn�t so they�d have these crazy conversations with Grandpa speaking German and their responding in English.
I don�t remember us kids having great fights but I can still see us kids chasing each other through the downstairs bedroom, dining room and living room which made a circular chase which we obviously enjoyed. I recall that we were quite young but old enough to know when it was safe to do so without adult interference. We weren�t allowed to cry unless we had something worth crying about. I remember only two paddlings for us six kids. We knew by the tone of the voice when it was time to cool it. By the way, I didn�t get either of the two spankings.
We had wood stoves for many years for heating and cooking. For the first years of my life we had kerosene lamps and gas lanterns with mantles for light.
Clara cooking at wood stove, 1944 |
We kids grew up with chores from early on. They were geared to our ages and abilities but you didn�t have to be very old or big to pull weeds, hoe, set the table, wash dishes, feed the chickens etc. Later came lawn mowing with a push mower, milking cows by hand, (until about five years ago I still would dream about milking, switching, kicking cows) picking stones, pulling wild mustard and the list could go on and on. I learned to drive the tractor and did field work. We often had a "hired man" and I remember when I was about 13 how my older cousin had me drive the tractor with a load of hay on the county road and he sat on the fender and tormented me while I drove: "Get in the ditch. A car is coming." There was plenty of room for both of us. Alfred was a born tease and I often chided him about it even after he was over 70 years old.
We worked hard. We were not paid as such but we got "spending money." The word "allowance" wasn�t in our vocabulary. Periodically Grandpa deposited varying amounts into our savings accounts. I was very young but I did have a savings account and for a while I thought I had lost it all because the Lastrup bank closed permanently. When we were older we kids were apprehensive about depositing in the Pierz bank as I had told the younger children about my bad experience with the Lastrup bank.
On Saturdays we�d go to Mass and catechism and then we�d go to the store to spend our Saturday nickel. In those days a nickel bought a lot more than it does now. One Saturday I bought a nickel�s worth of black licorice, ate it all and became very ill. I still can�t look at or eat licorice happily. Lill claims that one Saturday I lost my nickel and then charged my little purchase on the folk�s grocery charge account!!!
My mother would sometimes have a "hired girl" from the neighborhood. She was stunned when one new girl picked up the scatter rugs and shook them in the house. As soon as I was old enough I was in charge of the Saturday cleaning. I can remember how frustrated I�d get when I wouldn�t even get done and the little ones would already have messed up one of the first rooms I had cleaned.
We had the most wonderful summer playhouse. My parents cured hams, bacon and dried beef in a smokehouse in the backyard. As soon as spring came and it was not being used we girls would paper the smoke house with whatever was available. It had a dirt floor and we�d carpet it with throw rugs. We played dolls, house and school every chance we got. My father made doll furniture and my mother made the bedding. She wasn�t a sewer as such but loved quilting. I sewed and we were quite creative with crates and whatever we could scrounge to make makeshift furniture and decorative touches.
When we were old enough to ride horses we could ride Flossie to the mailbox a mile away to get the mail. Poor me!! I got "seasick" riding so I had to walk when it was my turn as we didn�t have bikes.
Our grade school was a mile away. It was a one room country school with a wood stove. The teacher had eight grades, built her own fire after walking to school, supervised cleaning and had endless responsibilities. I wondered often after I became a teacher if I could have been a good rural grade school teacher like my teachers and my mother, who was a teacher, were. My mother taught for eight years. Throughout the years we were told often by her former students that she was the best teacher in the county during the time that she taught.
I can�t concentrate completely if the TV is on or if there are other distractions. I wonder how we kids could really concentrate on doing our assignments while other classes were going on a few feet away. There were usually 40 to 42 students and eight grades so lots of individual lessons were going on all day long. We seemed to perform satisfactorily in county competitive events. In eighth grade I placed second in the county spelling bee. The county gave certificates for a variety of things like penmanship, perfect attendance and performance in the higher percentiles in the various subject disciplines.
We did not have playground equipment as we know it now. Bats and balls got good workouts and recess was active with tag, "pum pum pull away" crack the whip, ring around the rosie, swinging on homemade swings and other strenuous games. I do not feel that we were deprived. In fact, I sometimes feel sorry for kids today who have too much planned for them and too many gadgets and toys. I think I hear "What can I do? I'm bored" more today than when I was a kid.
Two of my teachers lived with us while I was in the upper grades. I have visited one of them many times over the years. In her 80s she was still asking if I had a more difficult time in high school and college than my classmates. She was still concerned that she might not have prepared me adequately for my future. High school was a definite change of pace for me going to a larger town school but I did just fine and didn�t feel cheated. As the saying goes I gave the town kids "a run for their money"!!!!!
Traveling from the area during our childhood years was a rare occasion. It was a real adventure when we�d get to St Paul to visit relatives. Going to relatives in Waumandee, Wisconsin rated even higher and I only remember a few of those visits. These relatives came to see us occasionally, too, so we did stay connected throughout my childhood. These were my mother�s relatives. The Block relatives with the exception of one family lived within fifteen miles of our home and we�d see each other periodically. In fact, the majority of them went to church in Lastrup so we�d see those families often. My aunts and uncles would speak German to us. After I went to the U I forgot a lot of German and I became embarrassed making so many mistakes. After about five years I told them I preferred speaking English with them. That was fine as they all spoke English fluently. I feel sad sometimes that it would be next to impossible for me to carry on a conversation in German. Marrying an Irishman didn�t help with remembering my German.
Holidays were a big thing. We didn�t get a lot of purchased gifts but we�d make and do things for each other. I never did ask but I now wonder how Santa came when we were young kids and we all had gone to midnight Mass. We�d get home and the tree had been trimmed and gifts were under the tree. I remember a few visits from St. Nicholas on December 6th at Uncle Johns and Aunt Ann�s. He�d ask if we�d been good and I�m sure that we worried a little that maybe there might have been room for improvement. They didn�t have children so we�d have holiday dinners as well as other dinners and visits together more often than with the relatives who had families. My aunt was a very good cook and my mother would be nervous that something wouldn�t turn out well when it was at our house. My mother�s very good appetite would usually leave until the meal was over with. My Aunt�s "Lill, that was really good" etc. didn�t seem to reassure her. My aunt had gone to "cooking school" and she had more time to spend on new recipes. She, also, had more time to spend preparing each meal. My mother didn�t cook or bake very much before she was married but she did become a good cook and baker.
We had lots of relatives as my dad and mother both came from big families. However, my dad�s brothers and sisters had families of their own. By then my mother and my aunt were the only ones around from their family, so we did more things together with them and they sort of adopted our family.
We didn�t have an active social life as everybody was working hard. During the school year when we went to Mass and catechism we got to meet and know kids who weren�t in our grade school. Sundays after Mass we�d visit again, stop at the store and in the afternoon we�d sometimes get together with nearby neighbor friends either "at your place or mine." Occasionally there would be church bazaars someplace, ball games, school box or pie socials and periodic school programs. The latter were big deals as we performed on makeshift stages with sheets for stage curtains and we got stage fright when the curtains were pulled open. I started piano lessons when I was about eight and then I had recital experiences so our school programs didn�t intimidate me as much. About the only dances we got to were the wedding dances of friends in the neighborhood. Until I left for the U we neighbor friends would go to dances in little groups, have fun at the dance and then go home in our same groups. Our parents would have frowned on dating and we didn�t push it. Things changed drastically by the time Belva, who is 14 years younger than I am, became a teenager. She was married on her 19th birthday.
I wasn�t the cute one in the family. My hair was blonde, thin and straight. Agnes was cute, her brunette hair had a tendency to curl so her hair would get curled into locks with strips of fabric. Lill�s hair was like mine and I don�t remember her getting curls either. I was seven years old when Patty was born. She was pretty, got primped and preened and by then I was old enough to observe that I wasn�t getting the "Oh! how cute she is" like Patty was getting. I tell her that I don�t know how I can even like her now with those remembrances of missing out on the adulation in my childhood!!! Belva and Archie were easy on the eyes, too, but by then I was older and it didn�t bother me.
I am the oldest and it bugged me no end when it was supposedly intended that I feel complimented that I would always set a good example for the younger ones. It never entered my head to complain about it even though I wasn�t that much older than Agnes or Lillian. I did tell myself even then that I wouldn�t expect that of my oldest if and when I had children. I wonder if I accomplished that goal. Being the oldest of six children in a busy, busy family didn�t leave a lot of time for much individual attention. I remember how I got one special attention. My mother baked lots of yeast coffeecakes and often times she put raisins in the dough. Aha! All of a sudden I didn�t like raisins so I got my own rolls, etc. without raisins. I might add that I liked raisins a lot then and I still do.
I was the only one of the older kids who stuck with piano lessons. When we had guests my mother would always (I think always) say, "Clara, play the piano for us." Secretly I didn�t like to perform but I liked getting this special attention. I know now that like most parents my mother and father made opportunities for each of us to shine! I was into sewing and creating from an early age and that brought some "oohs and aah�s" also. Grandma used to say that I could "make something out of nothing ." She�d also say that I�d probably marry someone poor as a "church mouse."
I need to tell you about the community I grew up in. The Lastrup area at that time was completely German Catholic. Little Falls about 25 miles to the west was a "melting pot" of ethnic and religious backgrounds. Going to the north and east the people were called "Yankees" and most of them weren�t especially successful farmers. As a kid I never knew an Irish person and as far as the Germans were concerned the Irish were compared to the "Yankees" in industriousness and management. Thank heaven I had an energetic and goal orientated Irishman to introduce when Dad came to meet my mother and dad. Losing his job later with Minnesota Mining and Paper Company because of layoffs and his short seniority was a temporary setback in their confidence in him. "A Master�s degree and can�t find a job." My! My!
Many who lived in our farming community didn�t become involved in community activities. My mother wasn�t into politics and such but she was active in church and school activities. My father was active in those, also, but he added creamery offices, fire insurance agent and whatever came along that he believed in and needed a crusader. We were one of the more successful farms around Lastrup even though the four oldest children were girls! "What good are girls on a farm?" was a comment from one of Grandpa�s brothers. We all showed those predominantly boy families what girls could do.
One of the things we girls helped a lot with was the gardening. It was lots of hard work but we�d pick tubs and tubs of strawberries, raspberries, apples, plums, currants, blackberries, chokecherries and whatever else was grown by us and available. Then there were what seemed like millions of green beans that we picked and snapped. Picking and shelling as many peas also sticks in my mind. We stored vegetables in our cellar for the winter and helped make crocks and crocks of sauerkraut. Before freezing of food became a reality we canned lots of jams, jellies, fruits and vegetables. Homemakers usually showed off their hundreds and hundreds of jars of canned foods whenever guests came.
Harvesting of oats, barley, rye and wheat was almost like a celebration. Before my dad and his brothers bought their own threshing machine he like everyone else hired a thresher. Each farmer had big crews bringing in the shocks of grain on wagons as the machines gobbled up the sheaves quickly. The girls and women literally put on feasts with morning lunch, dinner as it was called at noon, afternoon lunch and supper. Every lady of the house went all out and everything was made from scratch. We�d hear what was served at other farms as the men helped each other with the harvesting. Grandpa always rated us as having the best meals. Smart man, huh?
Much of our food was grown or raised on the farm. We had heard about oleo but that was a "no no" in our home as we had a dairy herd, sold the cream and bought butter. "Store bought" bread was a rarity at our house so we kids classified it as a treat. Ugh! It was that white bread that was so popular then. Hot dogs were about the only meat we bought and they were the real thing and were for special occasions like the 4th of July. Homemade ice cream was a special treat and it was even fun to help hand crank it.
I do remember snow as we had lots of it while I was growing up and we�d have to trudge through it while we walked a mile each way to school. We�d wear heavy wool snow pants, rubber boots, heavy wool coats, scarves, caps (hair really looked good after wearing caps on a cold day), and at least two pair of home knit mittens. You looked like a blimp regardless of your size and shape. Sometimes the snow would be packed and iced and we could walk over it without breaking through. Mostly, however, it was soft, hip deep and wore us out. We did have homemade skis which we used when we could, but a book bag and a lunch bucket didn�t make skiing very easy. However, snow and ice could be fun and my dad would help us get an ice skating rink ready and we skated with skates and without skates at times. Skates in those days were the clamp-on type and I turned my ankles many times. We didn�t have an abundance of slopes and hills but we managed to find places to sled and toboggan.
We�d have a hay ride now and then and that was fun when it was for fun and not haying time. We�d have fun playing in the hay mow but we were discouraged from doing that as Grandma and Grandpa were worried that we�d come tumbling down through the chute when there wouldn�t be a pile of hay to break our fall. We did enjoy climbing up into the silo when it was quite full of silage but we weren�t especially fond of shoveling silage down the chute for feeding the cattle.
We did not have luxuries but we had a comfortable home, good nutritious food, our needs were met and we enjoyed simple but fun activities. We knew that we were loved and appreciated. Grandpa didn�t write a lot of letters after we left the nest but every once in a while he and Grandma would send a check for "milking those cows, picking stones, gardening" or whatever they�d think of that day. Letters from them were signed with "Lots of Love."
My dad loved to go deer hunting and each fall he and his brothers would go to northern Minnesota for a week or ten days to hunt. I hated guns then as I do now and I worried about him all of the time that he was gone. In later years there was deer hunting around home so I didn�t have to worry for more than a day at a time as they came home each night.
My mother was a very good pianist and vocalist. Her favorite singer was Enrico Caruso and I can still hear her singing some of his songs. We had many songfests around the piano even though I�ve never been noted for my singing ability. I was better at playing the piano. My mother was a very good teacher and she was able to make our singing sound quite good. She sang in the church choir until just before she died at age 81.
My father and mother in their early 70's |
My father loved to "spin yarns" and throughout the years we experienced some repetition. The topics ranged from his early year�s Halloween pranks, "snipe hunting", deer hunting, fishing stories, the cyclones they experienced, the depression, bank closings, and the list could go on and on. It seemed as if he could always come up with a little joke or story relating to the topic that was being discussed.
The following are a few happenings that my dad told over and over. He never could understand how his brother-in-law didn�t see my Grandpa Block as he was driving around the barn and drove over my Grandpa breaking his hip. Then he�d mention that they shaved off my Grandpa�s beard while he was in the hospital and that he "sure looked different." Later he lived with us and sometime after he came he fell in the bathroom and broke a hip again. He recovered again.
A young man killed his parents about 15 miles from where we lived. My dad was going fishing the next day and was stopped by a policeman as our car was identical to the murderer�s car. I don�t remember how long it took him to convince the cop that he was the owner of the car and that he wasn�t involved in the murder.
Another favorite story was about my mother. Each summer they would go with friends to northern Minnesota to pick blueberries for a little respite from us kids and work I imagine. One summer Grandma got bitten by a wasp on her wedding ring finger. She had never had her wedding ring off before and to hear him tell it was because she loved him so much and couldn�t be without it. Her finger started to swell and as they were in the woods the only thing they had to put on it was mud. It kept swelling so Grandpa finally had to cut the ring off. He never let her forget that mistake.
He also liked to remind me of the time when I was about 13 the family was going someplace at night. I had a lot of studying to do and I decided I could stay alone although I never had before. It was dark so probably it was winter. Those were the days when no one locked doors but I locked all four doors, closed the shades and curtains and started to study. I heard a little noise and became unglued.
My mother hiking in Glacier National Park around 1920 |
My mother liked to tell about my Aunt Ann and her taking the train to Glacier National Park and spending the summer working in the kitchen of the Many Glacier Hotel. They had taken appropriate hiking clothes with them for adventures on their days off. Knee high button-up hiking boots, jodphurs, fitted jackets and matching hats made for some really neat snapshots of them on their excursions. I remember her telling us that the kitchen help were not allowed to go to the lobby or dining room. They didn�t care what their duties or restrictions were as they were happy to be there to enjoy the park. When Dad and I saw the hotel some years ago it looked like the large pictures my mother had of it from way back in about l920.
Even in retirement my parents always kept busy with their hobbies and chores. In later years the piano was at Archie and Gladys�s as "I don�t need it anymore." I guess she missed it after all and then got a small keyboard and had fun with it. The grandchildren had fun with it, too. Grandma made lots of crazy quilts, pillows, afghans, toys, and still did some knitting and crocheting. She didn�t do pattern sewing but liked to mend on the sewing machine. She loved to bake yeast bread, coffee kuchen and cookies and in later years gave a lot of such to others. Grandpa whittled and carved many hundreds of deer, camels, fish and canes which he also gave to many people. Patty tells how offended a very short-in-stature neighbor was when Grandpa gave him a short cane. After Grandma died he didn�t continue his whittling even though Archie had made an apartment size work bench for him. She had always praised his handiwork as he had hers and I guess he just couldn�t get into it anymore. They took care of their big yard and garden until she died and he moved to the apartment in Onamia. The retirement yard in Lastrup was very nice with many flowers, trees, shrubs, and, of course, a garden.
My mother and father were about 60 when they retired to Lastrup which is a very small town of less than 200 people. As I mentioned Grandma spent quite a bit of time at the school. Grandpa went out to the farm often to help Archie. He liked doing tractor work in the fields and not being responsible for the dairy operations or any other things he didn�t feel like doing. He went deer hunting with Archie�s group until he was about 76 . Then he decided those young fellows shouldn�t have to have such an old guy to look after!!! He continued with the story telling, however.
Both of my parents enjoyed being with young people. The little kids in Lastrup knew that they were a soft touch for treats, buying their fund raiser things and chatting. There were daily post office visits, church and its activities, town council meetings periodically and everybody knew everybody so they didn�t get lonesome as there was always something to do or somebody to visit with or have come to the house. They seemed to thoroughly enjoy the retirement years. If any of you ever get to Lastrup again a nice family remembrance to see is the stained glass window that my mother and dad donated in memory of their parents at the church. I think the cemetery next to the church is special. Adjoining the cemetery property is the farm where my dad was born. He didn�t grow up there as the family moved to a farm near Buckman some time later. It was only about 12 miles away and near Pierz where my mother lived later on. The gift that I cherish the most from my parents is a birthstone rosary that we each received the Christmas when I was about 17 or 18. I still carry it in my purse and at this writing that means I haven�t lost it in 56 years. I don�t have many small items that I�ve not lost since that time.
When my mother died on January 6, l978, your Grandpa Block had a hard time leaving the house in Lastrup where they had lived for about 20 years after leaving the farm. You might remember that it was a rather nice older home with an attractive yard near the little pond that the highway went through. The church was in full view across the pond on a small rise. With farms directly to the west it created a nice pastoral scene and I can understand why he didn�t want to move to that "jail cell" as he referred to the apartment before he moved into it in Onamia. I�m sure that he missed his friends, but he adjusted quite quickly and made many new friends. Belva and Tom lived very close to him and the children and they visited and called him numerous times a day. He loved to get mail so I wrote once or twice a week and I called him each week just as we had done when Grandma and Dad�s parents were alive. I recall one time I asked him what he had done that week. He was about 86 or 87 then and he said he�d gone over to the nursing home to play Bingo, which he didn�t even like to do, with the OLD people. He was past 90 when he went to live in the nursing home just across the street and I don�t think that he admitted to being old then either. My father had a good sense of humor. My mother did, too, but hers was subtler.
I have many fond memories of my parents even though I thought they were rather strict as we were growing up. As I look back on my life during those years I realize that the responsibilities and the nurturing we had prepared us for our careers, family life and our roles in society. I hope that our children will be able to think that their parents were good role models in their formative years, also.
It was difficult to further your education when I was through grade school as the nearest high school was 17 miles away and there wasn�t any bus service. It took Grandpa two years to convince the Onamia School District that our area needed and deserved bus service. The first year I was home I was housemaid and milkmaid as Grandma was very sick during her pregnancy with Belva. I did continue piano lessons in Pierz and my piano duet friend and I spent time practicing together in preparation for recitals. The second year I was sick quite a bit and in March I had an emergency appendectomy just before a major snowstorm. Grandpa had gotten me to Little Falls twenty five miles away in time for him to stay for the surgery and get home before he would not have gotten home. Because of the snow storm I didn�t have many visitors the ten days they kept appendectomies in bed. I remember how dizzy I was when they let me get out of bed. I still smile that I didn�t have to scrub floors for six weeks after the surgery. It wasn�t one of my favorite duties. I recovered speedily and was healthy after that.
I was so happy that Grandpa wasn�t a quitter and that I was healthy again so that I could finally get started with high school. Getting up early to help with some chores, getting ready, eating breakfast and leaving at 7:00 to walk one mile to meet the bus was rigorous to say the least. I was a conscientious student and I tried to study on the bus as we had a total of 55 miles of stop-and-go riding each day. However, most of the kids on the bus weren�t into utilizing bus time for studying or letting others do it. After two years of this routine and trying to work in piano lessons and other school activities we stayed in town during the week at private homes. We had very rustic second floor rooms with little wood stoves for heat and preparing our food. We�d go home weekends and bring back food, our clean clothes and linens and whatever else we�d need for that week. After I got a job at the bakery and later at the Coffee Shop, I didn�t get home very much.
I worked at the Coffee Shop which was a busy, full menu restaurant during the summer between my junior and senior years and stayed with my cousin, Stella, and her family. I left at 3:00 in the morning and had to walk across a field and railroad tracks in the dark to get to the restaurant 6 or 7 blocks away. There occasionally were "tramps" along the railroad tracks and I now wonder how I survived that summer. After my eight hour shift I was exhausted as we had lots of lake tourists each day, but I then babysat the two little girls and prepared dinner for five of us in exchange for my room and evening meal. Needless to say that summer was almost all work and no play. I survived and I guess it�s like the saying goes, "All�s well that ends well."
I worked very hard at school and my jobs. I did not have time for social activities beyond school functions. I became a joiner at school and broadened my horizons considerably. By the time I graduated I had fulfilled goals of becoming proficient in academics and benefited from participation and leadership in many extra-curricular activities. I was valedictorian of our small class of 42. Some scholarships came my way. My college entrance exams were commendable and I jumped into beginning the University of Minnesota during summer school a few weeks after high school graduation. That took real courage as I was a country girl and Minneapolis was big!! In those days mostly people working on advanced degrees or people working on recertification were in summer school. I hadn�t had Freshman orientation and competition from these professionals so soon after graduation was almost more than I had bargained for. I studied far into the night and often got up about 4:00 a.m. I also worked at the cafeteria on campus but somehow I survived the two sessions and maintained a good G.P.A. When the other freshmen came for the fall quarter I settled in comfortably. I was the only freshman in my college who began in summer school and I was kind of an oddity and heard comments such as, "Why would you do that?" I made up one lost year by going to two and a half summer quarters and I graduated at the end of my third year at the university. I�m proud of my high school and college records as I think I proved that it is up to the individual to compensate for inadequacies along the way. My country grade school and small town high school probably didn�t compare academically with the schools some of my University classmates attended but I compared more than favorably with the records made by each of us at the U.
I did not join a sorority as I couldn�t afford it but I was active in a number of campus organizations. I did meet requirements for an academic sorority which was within my financial means. At the end of my first full year at the U five of us Home Ec�s. moved from the St. Paul campus to a new dorm on the Mississippi River on main campus near the well known University Hospital. I concentrated on maintaining a high G.P.A. and didn�t work at a paying job those two years.
World War II was in progress. On our campus we had 3 civilian guys and the rest were ASTPs and Navy men who came and went sporadically. I remember only one male person, an ASTP, who I thought was A-Okay. I had visions of what I wanted to do with my life for a while after graduation and I think I consciously steered clear of possible serious involvements of the heart.
Being on TV wasn�t possible then but I did have a rather neat radio experience. I won an extra scholarship and, big deal, I also won a trip to Yankton, South Dakota, to be on a radio program and join in some nice activities with "Our Neighbor Lady." I had never been to anything like that. I can still remember the dining and fun things that we did even in and around Yankton. My parents thought that it was really something to hear me on radio station WNAX.
As I mentioned the war was on but I don�t remember much about rationing as I was at the U eating dorm food and I didn�t have to contend with ration books for food. I do remember using our run menders on our silk stockings until they were hopelessly worn out. Because parachutes were made of silk we had to settle for rayon hosiery after that as nylon wasn�t on the market yet. Rayon stockings (no pantyhose back then) were very baggy after you bent your knees a few times. We continued to run mend our stockings as my friends and I were on stringent budgets. It was surprising what a good job we could do with that little gadget. It was also surprising how much time it took to "run mend."
I just remembered another aspect of the war and this was when we were seniors in high school. Because of tire rationing we had to be patriotic and forgo senior skip day. Also, it would have been unpatriotic to have a prom so we got to see "How Green Was My Valley" and a treat someplace in town. How does that sound for a substitution?
I was active in Newman Club and I found out several years later after I met Dad that the Newman Club priest was a cousin of Dad�s mother.
After graduation I was recommended for a Home Economics position at Long Prairie, Minnesota by a person who graduated two years before I did. I knew that Marie was an exceptionally good teacher and I was apprehensive about replacing her. Later I found out that my Home Ec Ed. professor had urged Marie to convince me to take the job. I accepted and then became one of Dr. Arny�s twenty schools involved in a special project and she was in and out of my classroom often. In college she was Miss Brown. I had stayed at Dr. and Mrs. Arny�s home the first quarter I was at the U. Mrs. Arny died soon after and I lost contact with him. Imagine my surprise when during one of her visits this 60 plus Miss Brown came to my school sporting this big diamond and acting like a young to-be-bride. She was quite surprised that I knew him and the other Mrs. Arny. During my second year of teaching she decided that I was ready to train student teachers. She was the only college teacher I kept in touch with and she and her newly acquired husband came to see us in out tiny house in LaCrosse with a baby gift after Gregg was born. I saw the little gift at Gregg�s house after Jay was born.
I have never really enjoyed giving speeches or even short talks, and in the spring of my first year of teaching Dr. Arny convinced me that I needed to expound on whatever the topic was that was dear to her heart at that time at the State Home Economics convention. I remember practicing a lot as it was at the Calhoun Beach Club. In Minneapolis and I was going to be speaking to hundreds of experienced teachers. I splurged and bought an expensive suit and I can still see me. I was thoroughly prepared and after I got to the podium I even enjoyed myself. I remember other talks I gave throughout the years but that is the one that really boosted my confidence in myself. Toward the end of my second year of teaching I was debating whether I wanted to go overseas to teach for two or three years. We had to have two years of successful teaching experience before we could apply. Or did I want to start on a master�s program with Dr. Arny? About then Dad came into the picture seriously and both were shelved permanently and I taught in Long Prairie another year and stayed with Dr. Arny�s study.
Long Prairie still is one of my favorite small towns. A Home Ec classmate from the U became the Home Extension agent at the same time and we made quite a pair. Lois was a little over five feet tall and I was about eight inches taller. We went into our respective jobs with gusto. I had adult classes some evenings and sometimes I went with Lois to her evening meetings and lessons in the county. Both of us got to meet a lot of young people and adults in and out-of-town by attending each other�s events. Women teachers could not be married at that time and we were paid less than men for the same job description. Lois didn�t have to contend with those situations in her position.
I was Junior Class advisor so during the spring of my first year of teaching I was in charge of the prom. Remember we couldn�t have a prom because of the war when I was in high school so I really had to bone up on what was expected. Everything was at the school and I was in charge of preparing the banquet with the help of my Home Ec Club girls. I also was in charge of the rather elaborate decorating which involved planning, purchasing and executing the plans with sometimes rather flighty students!! I had asked a young man whose name I can�t remember to be my date. He was going to be coming from Ohio or someplace and some weeks before he decided not to come. He apparently lost interest but I couldn�t have been too broken hearted since I can�t remember his name. I had been at a meeting at the U and had met Dad at the Newman Club. He was in graduate school and I was checking on my friends at the Newman Club meeting and party. We were introduced, compared notes on mutual friends and had a very nice evening. He told me about his going through Long Prairie while Marie was still there and visiting with her as he was a good friend of Marie and her boyfriend, Bill. He had enjoyed meeting some of her friends who now were my friends. When I got back and found out that I didn�t have a prom date I decided I couldn�t ask anyone from Long Prairie as no one was special and I wanted to stay good friends with all of the guys. After quite a bit of deliberation I wrote to him, explained the situation and asked if he�d be interested in coming for the prom and added that there�d be "no strings attached." He sent a telegram saying that he would like to come. He didn�t have a car so he came on the bus from Minneapolis. My landlady was very surprised when she saw Dad come in as she remembered him from his visit with Marie who also had lived at her home. After the weekend Dad went back to the U. We sent each other a thank-you note and we each went our merry way during the summer.
Dad had an assignment in northern Minnesota and I was back teaching when I got a letter from him in October. He wanted to come visit but I kept stalling as I was having a nice time with Norm on our frequent dinner and dancing dates. Norm and I enjoyed each other but neither of us was serious about a future together and I guess we were both biding our time. Finally In late winter I said Dad could come. I told Norm that this friend was coming but it wasn�t a big deal. Dad and I were part of Norm�s and my group that weekend. Apparently a light went on in each of our brains and hearts that weekend as he came down 200 miles from the "boonies" almost every weekend after that. Dad and Norm became good friends and Norm visited us in LaCrosse before he eventually married. We�ve written at Christmas ever since. Dad popped the question about 4 months later on July 4, l948. I had signed a contract and we decided I would teach that year, get my college debts paid and we�d get married the following summer. In the spring his company laid off many foresters and as he had just been with them for a few months he didn�t have seniority and he was jobless. He went back to Rochester, worked for a landscaper and mailed many, many resumes. Forestry was at a standstill and there just weren�t any openings. We kept postponing our wedding until finally we decided to start a landscaping business in LaCrosse, Wisconsin. Our "shoe string" was very short. I taught in Long Prairie during September while my replacement was traveling in Europe. By then we had decided on Thanksgiving Day as my mother and dad were married on that day.
Jerry and Clara, Nov. 24, 1949 |
We had become engaged hurriedly after we finally started to date almost a year after that prom but it took a year and five months to get to the "I do" after the engagement.
We had a very nice simple wedding. I made my dress and I must have been out of it as I cut two side panels for the same side of the dress and satin isn�t reversible. It wasn�t easy to get to Minneapolis as I had to take the bus down to buy more fabric. The wedding was at the church in Lastrup. It had snowed but it wasn�t real cold. All of the out-of-town guests were able to get there and back without any problems. The dinner and reception were at the farm. I don�t know how many aunts prepared the typical Thanksgiving dinner which was served in shifts in the house as we didn�t have room to serve about 75 people at the same time. The garage had been cleaned and decorated and with a nice fire in the pot-belly stove the men seemed to enjoy the afternoon chatting and playing cards out there. Ours was a typical wedding for that area with the exception of not having a wedding dance. Dad and I went to the Duluth area for our short honeymoon.
Arthur, Leo, Gerald, Clarence, Edward, Michael, Agnes, Mary O'Neil |
Agnes, Patricia, Archie, Lillian, Clara, Belva, Lillian, William |
A few weeks later we moved to a second floor apartment in LaCrosse. Dad didn�t own a car until sometime in 1947 and I didn�t have one as it was practically unheard of for a single woman to own a car. His was a 1939 Ford and it had periodic problems for his three mechanic brothers to repair. It was really a big deal when we got rid of the old car and bought a new GMC pickup. Dad then started getting organized for our first season of landscaping. Early that summer we borrowed $5000 from my dad and mother and bought a $10,000 house. That was quite brave as our taxable income that first year was $1500. Gregg was born a month after we moved and it was just great to live in our first little house even though Grandma, Grandpa and the bank owned it at that point! It was a cute little Cape Cod house and the yard was landscaped nicely. Everything was in tip-top shape. Later Dad took cabinet making classes and he built out the unfinished attic. Even if we hadn�t moved to South Dakota we would have had to move as we had outgrown the house.
Jerry and Clara's First Home in LaCrosse, Wis 1950-1958 |
Beginning in January after Gregg was born I taught one semester in Onalaska which was just north of LaCrosse. It wasn�t the happy experience that I had in Long Prairie as the superintendent wasn�t especially personable. Dad, the Lichties and the Krauses babysat Gregg and he got lots of love and attention from all of them. Agnes, Lillian and Patty came down from Minneapolis often. They were unmarried at that time and were doting, generous aunties. The O�Neils popped in often as Rochester was only 75 miles away. The Block�s lived 200 miles away and weren�t retired yet but they got down periodically, too. We�d get to Rochester and up home several times a year and we continued that routine even after you children grew up, had jobs, or just plain didn�t want to go with us. Until my father died on August 25, l988 we only missed one year and that was in 1986 when I had the cancer surgery and radiation. We called or wrote often while our four parents were alive.
During our last several years in LaCrosse, Dad got the urge to have a small Christmas tree farm. He leased land from Grandma and Grandpa O�Neil. The acreage was on top of a hill and he planted many thousands of seedlings. One year was very dry and not all of the little trees survived but many did. They kept growing and growing and the day came when we had to begin shaping them.
The children all born in LaCrosse: Thomas, Patrick, Gregory, Kathleen |
We had several good years business-wise in LaCrosse but after eight years the economy slipped considerably. Landscaping and our little nursery became frills and Dad decided to try to get into forestry again. He sent out many applications and resumes and we were quite elated when he got the District Forester�s job in eastern South Dakota. It was nip and tuck for six people to live on $5000 but we did it. We bought a $15000 house which was nice and roomy. We hadn�t paid back the $5000 we had borrowed from my parents as yet. We had kept up the interest payments but it wasn�t until I had taught several years in Rapid City that we were able to repay them.
Dad and I must have trusted each others� judgments implicitly. When he got the job in Sioux Falls with the state he was able to start almost immediately. With children in school and the house listed I stuck with the home front. Agnes and Gene drove through Sioux Falls while Dad was house hunting there and they encouraged him to buy the one we then lived in. So we moved into a house we bought sight unseen by me. We enjoyed the house and the neighborhood and we weren�t exactly thrilled to be moving to Pierre two years later. We had enjoyed living near my college friend Polly, her husband Pete and their children, John and Linda. I had built up a little sewing alterations business. We had been happy. However, it was a promotion for Dad.
Pierre SD home lived in 1 year, 1960 |
Pierre didn�t have a suitable rental for six people or anything to buy that we liked or could afford. Our house didn�t sell quickly so Dad commuted for about 6 months and had a house built for us. When the Sioux Falls house sold in the spring the people wanted to move in before school was out. We were packing and a few days before we were leaving Pete had a canoeing accident on the swollen river and couldn�t be found. Dad helped search several days but finally we had to vacate the house as the people were getting impatient. We left with heavy hearts. Pete wasn�t found for another week. He had died. The trim wasn�t finished in the Pierre house so it was kind of a hassle. Also, the contract for deed on the Sioux Falls house backfired and it took several years before we were clear on that. We really liked our year in Pierre but Rapid City was where we wanted to be so again we had to sell a house. The Seventh Day Adventists bought the house as soon as it was put on the market and we didn�t have any financing problems with them.
Rapid City SD home from 1961 to 1985 |
We bought a house that was being built and we lived in it all of the years that we lived in Rapid City. It was a good move for us. We were near the Black Hills and Dad loved being near trees again!! I subbed for a year and a half in the secondary schools and then started full time at North where I taught for almost twenty two years. Dad was out-of-town a lot and I sometimes wonder how I managed as I was taking recertification credits, teaching huge classes and getting you kids to school and your activities. After about six years he was hired as a forester for the power company. That helped a lot as he wasn�t away nights nearly as much. He was very involved at work and in his favorite organizations but I think because of all his energy he participated in his children�s activities as much or more than many fathers.
I was a conscientious teacher and I hope that you kids didn�t feel neglected Being home during the summer and holidays made it seem to me as if I wasn�t an absentee mother. We had an agreement when I started to teach full time that everyone had to pitch in with the work. I had my duties and Dad and you kids baked, cooked, did the heavy cleaning and did the outside chores. After each of you got jobs Dad�s and my chores increased while you were still living at home.
I didn�t think that I could live through any of you learning to drive a car. However, after driving four kids to there rather numerous activities I could hardly wait for Gregg to start driving. It was easier to think about the rest of you driving. Then there was the "leaving home" trauma. I almost cried every time I passed by his room for days when he left for Helena. Finally I reminded myself that he was ready to further prepare for adulthood and going off to college was the nest step. Tom leaving for O�Gorman High School in Sioux Falls a few weeks before he was 14 seemed impossible. It wasn�t any easier when Kathy left for Helena but she, too, was ready to get going. We enjoyed having Pat while he was at the vocational school but then we were really alone when he went off to the navy and we had another adjustment to make. We did have some summers of college kids at home and that was good. After those days came to an end we more or less said , "We did it. Our kids are prepared to take care of themselves." Yes, we missed all of you but we were so pleased that all of you were getting established in your careers.
After you three older children left we were happy when Tom was home summers before he graduated. Dad was really pleased that Tom worked in Sturgis those five or so years so they could continue to play on ball teams, play golf and learn to use the computer together. Dad loved to stop in Sturgis when he�d go north for the day. Sometimes he�d find Tom and they�d have an early evening golf game. Often they only had a few minutes to chat. Tom was around when Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson�s Disease. After Dad�s memory started to wane Tom was exceedingly patient in explaining over and over things Dad would forget about computering and other things that I knew nothing about. When Tom left for Vermillion for his MBA I missed not having any of you around for a shoulder as by then Dad was worsening noticeably.
Jerry and Clara on a visit to Rapid City in 1989 |
Dad and I kept working after all of you left but we had more time to do things we couldn�t before. Dad, especially, loved to participate in many organizations and causes. I was active in my groups, also. We made a concerted effort to spend more time together in the activities that we could both be at. We got to know more and more people throughout the state as the years went by. Time kept marching on. We traveled and worked. Dad�s health problems were worsening and that bugged him as he had always been very healthy. His Toastmasters wasn�t going as well. He was a lector at Mass and he was reading too fast. He couldn�t seem to slow down. He was becoming more accident prone and worst of all he couldn�t run as fast at his ballgames. Thank goodness his pitching and hitting were still quite good. Finally we got the bad news. Parkinson�s Disease. What a blow that was. Life wasn�t the same after that even though he worked another three years. There was this big black cloud hanging over our heads. Dad seemed to be trying to prove that it wasn�t true and I was in denial, too. It just couldn�t get bad for quite a while so we bought a new motor home as we were sure he would be able to drive it for quite some time and we would take turns driving. We were wrong. We did travel about 45,000 miles in the motor home after dad had to quit driving. That meant that I was the driver. How did I ever pick up the nerve to drive into the big cities where you, friends and other relatives lived? We explored many interesting places until two weeks before Dad died. We couldn�t have traveled as much if we hadn�t had the motor home. Flying was becoming a real problem for me with him although we did occasionally and even had tickets for Boston for two weeks after he died.
Houston home 1985 |
Gregg and Anita knew that I would need help with Dad eventually and that it would be better to be near excellent medical options. After much soul searching we decided that Houston was where we needed to be. We would be near one of the children. A house was perfectly located. Their household help could be called on if an emergency arose while they were at work. As expected there were emergencies. Doctors and a hospital were nearby. Exactly a year after we moved to Houston I had the cancer surgery. None of you can know how I felt about that. Dad seemed to be rather oblivious of what had happened to me. Thinking back I believe that he was scared to death that I would die before he would. He knew that he�d need a caretaker so, of course, he was not able to talk about such an iffy situation. I�ve been very thankful that I was able to care for him in our home even though I still am not very happy being without him.
Jerry standing in front of a rhododendron New Zealand 1985 |
After several years of living here we would reminisce about some of our lengthier travels. Our first big one was to Italy for our 25th anniversary. Some of our friends were on the same tour and we did have a really great time in and around Rome, Florence, Naples, Isle of Capri etc. A number of years later we thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent with Gregg, Anita, Nikki and Robert, compliments of Gregg and Anita, in Acapulco. The big, big tour was to the South Pacific where we met Patty and Paul for six of the eight weeks we were gone. Tahiti, Moorea and Bora Bora were wonderful memories. Dad was somewhat tottery by then but he could still play volleyball. We had just arrived in Moorea and he took a walk. One team of young people was short a volleyball player as at mid-game someone had to leave. They asked him to join them. They had been losing and they credited Dad for winning the game for them. They�d brag about his playing every time they�d see him. The month in New Zealand was about perfect and the two weeks on the Great Barrier Reef and Australia were great but not long enough. We often talked about and remembered the spectacular opera house over the water in Sydney.
The three weeks with Kathy, Kerry, Kelle and Kasey in Hawaii was another special time for us. Tom was with us for a week. We were able to stay that long by their sharing their condo with us and we were all able to island hop by taking turns staying with the girls. There were many things to do and I drove without any anxieties when they�d be gone from Honolulu.
Dad and I enjoyed Copper Canyon in Mexico on a weeks train excursion for a week with Houston friends. We all drove to San Antonio, flew to Chihuahua where we boarded the train. At night we�d stay in quaint hotels along the route. The canyon reminded us of the Grand Canyon. Palo Duro State Park in the Texas Panhandle, though smaller, gave us a similar feeling.
Another happy memory was a trip up through Helena where we had a short visit with Anita�s parents and then kept on motorhoming to Edmonton, Canada, to Pope John Paul 11�s outdoor mass. We were one of the first motor homes to arrive and within half a day there were five thousand of us parked in a field. We were a few blocks away from the mass site so we didn�t have to walk very far like the couple of hundred thousand other people had to. Some years later we were the walkers from our bus when we went to his outdoor mass in San Antonio. We also visited the huge mall in Edmonton and when I�ve gone to the Mall of America in Minneapolis I�ve done a little comparing as they were owned by the same company. One of the surprises on the Canadian trip was seeing peonies blooming in six inches of snow at Lake Louise in September. We were used to May and June for seeing peonies in bloom.
Just before Dad got really worse we went back to Italy for a few days and then spent over a week in Israel. We were with Houston friends and they helped me with Dad. One regret is that we didn�t get to Ireland beyond Shannon Airport one night on a layover. I had more or less promised that we would get there but we didn�t . Another regret is that we didn�t get to Alaska. I almost felt guilty when I went with Patty and Paul after Dad died.
We often talked about the fun times we had with the little camper, the Lindy and then the Minnie Winnie. We wished that we could have gone beyond the tent stage of camping when you were kids. We sometimes regretted that we couldn�t do extras for you kids monetarily like you are doing for yours but we liked to think that we passed on some values that money couldn�t buy. Our happiest traveling times were when we would visit you in your homes and that was especially fun after grandchildren began joining your families.
We would sometimes talk about rather traumatic times like when we left you three school children with a sitter and Tom and I went along with Dad to Pierre to look at houses. We got there and the Deadwood fire was in full swing. Dad got us registered at the hotel and had to leave. I contacted the realtor and saw the available houses. Pierre didn�t have much in hotels and motels then and I was very nervous being alone with a little child. After breakfast the next morning I didn�t realize that the cashier shorted me by about fifteen dollars. In those days that was quite a bit and with whatever cash I had in my purse it would have bought our bus tickets back to Sioux Falls. I had my checkbook but the bus station wouldn�t take a check and the restaurant wouldn�t check their till. Finally after telling my sad story the restaurant cashed a check big enough to get us home. We got back fine but we didn�t hear from or about Dad for days.
Then there was the big flood in 1972 when Dad was gone about three weeks helping get power back, going through the debris trying to help find some of the 236 bodies that were missing and whatever had to be done. However, we would hear from him quite frequently as he was with the Power Company by then and communications had improved considerably from the time of the Deadwood fire. We had boys from Germany for Dakota Band Days at our house and they couldn�t understand why we couldn�t cook, flush, turn on the lights, etc. as it looked fine at our house. Later we had power and the TV pictures helped them understand. Gregg was in Helena. Pat was in the Navy and when he came home on leave a short time later he found the 1939 Chevy he had worked on for so long and had sold to a friend a twisted ball of metal somewhere in the canyon. Kathy and Tom were at home for the summer and experienced it first-hand.
I remembered one time Dad had Kathy, Gregg and Pat out with him in the southern hills when a big storm came up. Tom and I spent some time in the SW corner of Pat�s room as per suggestion of the weather man. Trees were down and the four travelers were held up for hours at the Blue Bell Lodge. I was a nervous wreck until Dad was finally able to call me. The TV news had come forth with only the bare facts and it certainly didn�t include the whereabouts of Jerry O�Neil and children.
Then we would also remember when our house was burglarized while Dad and I were gone for a week for my mother�s funeral in January of 1978. It took a while for me to feel comfortable to come home alone and go into the house.
Dad didn�t like to bring up this next one. I had come home from school and the house was filled with smoke when I opened the back door. Pierre, our poodle, came slinking from under Tom�s bed. I grabbed him and ran next door to call the fire department. Kathy�s car was in the driveway but she wasn�t home. I was worried that she was napping and wasn�t aware of the smoke before I yelled into the house for her. Dad had come home mid-afternoon and had put a pot of water and sugar on the stove for his wine making. He left without turning it off and it was on high. There were dozens of people out front when a fireman came out of the house carrying a pan with a black bee-hive looking thing protruding from the pan. They hooked up some smoke extractors and were gone before Dad remembered what he hadn�t done. He came flying home after everyone was gone and little Michael, next door, told his mother that "Jerry drove home awful fast". It was a mess to clean up but we were thankful that the house wasn�t ruined and most of all that no one was overcome by smoke inhalation or burned.
Clara's brothers and sisters: Agnes, Archie, Lillian, Clara, Belva and Patricia |
We would talk about how important our siblings had been in our lives even though there were years while we were all raising our families that we didn�t stay in close touch. My family was more scattered than Dad�s. His family stayed in Minnesota and we�d see them when we would go to Rochester to visit. Patty and Paul were in the service and spent at least nine years in Germany and Hawaii so we did not see them very often. Agnes and Gene were also in the service and lived in Japan for some years. We saw them oftener after they moved to Tacoma. They�d usually stop in Rapid City when they�d drive to Grandma and Grandpa�s which was about once a year. Lill and Cap were in San Diego so until Pat moved to San Diego we�d only see them in Minnesota and it wasn�t often that we�d be there at the same time. Belva�s and Archie�s lived near my parents so we got to see them whenever we were at the Blocks. Dad and his brothers Clarence, Art, Leo and Ed were very close. Mary was the youngest and only girl and Dad and his brothers were very good brothers to her. Dad�s family would get to visit us occasionally and we would get to Minnesota to see them.
Jerry and Clara's 35th wedding anniversary at Kathy's Pat, Tom, Gregg O'Neil, Kerry Oberle Kelle Oberle, Clara, Lauren, Anita, Sean and Jerry O'Neil Kathy O'Neil Oberle, Kasey Oberle |
Dad and I talked about our life together and acknowledged that we weren�t perfect people or parents, but felt that we did a good job of both marriage and parenting. We would say that our "hearts were in the right place." It wasn�t a "This is your job and this is my job marriage." Of course, we had differences of opinions at times but if we hadn�t come to an amicable state of affairs by bedtime the daily rosary helped us out. Saying "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" took care of most unresolved situations so that we could go to sleep without feeling unduly put out. We�d talk about both the happy times and the heartaches we endured together. We agreed that we were blest with great children. We thanked God often for our many blessings.
I�ve often wondered how I got the almost super human power to care for Dad and take him around, in and out of town those last several years. His many falls, cuts, and bruises were very frightening. He must have had an exceptional guardian angel to keep him from breaking bones and getting hurt worse. One thing that helped sustain me was that he didn�t complain about his problems. As difficult as those last years before he died on September 27, 1991 were I�ve been very thankful that I was able to care for him in our home. The many good memories have been very comforting to me and I�ve never lost the feeling of his presence in my life.
Statue of the Holy Family in memory of Jerry O'Neil St. Peter the Apostle Catholic Church Houston TX. |
I�ve remembered how happy Dad was when he learned that there would be another grandchild. That was just two weeks before he died and I�ve thought that he is still smiling that there is another Gerald John O�Neil in the family. Because I thought Dad was such a good family man I decided that his memorial at St. Peters should be a statue of Jesus, Mary and Joseph commonly referred to as the Holy Family. I�ve offered a prayer at the statue every time I�ve been at daily Mass for our family and for every family.
I�ve looked back on my childhood and young adulthood often and marvel how I trusted my parents implicitly in the values they lived by. There never could have been alternatives in how I would live my life. I�m really quite pleased with what I accomplished before I met and married Dad. I found a caring and loving husband for me and a great father for Gregg, Pat, Kathy and Tom. I�ve thought that Anita, Pam and Kerry had a good father-in-law and that Kelle, Kasey, Sean, Lauren and Deva knew a grandpa who loved them a lot.
The highlights of my life since Dad died have been when you were with me for my 70th birthday and at Christmas in 1995 when we shared memories of Dad both at home and at the cemetery.
The O'Neil family at Jerry's grave, Christmas 1995 Pat, Pam, Deva, Anita, Lauren, and Sean, Kerry Oberle, Tom, Kasey Oberle Jay (Gerald John), Gregg and Clara, Kathy and Kelle Oberle |
Gregg, Kathy, Tom, Clara and Pat O'Neil at Christmas 1995 |
Clara and grandchildren; Deva, Jay, Lauren, Sean, Kelle, Kasey |
Dad and the children he fathered who have since added members to our family roster have provided me with many happy memories and his legacy has continued to live on in each of us. We have been blest abundantly.